Exploding Head Syndrome

by Nuclear Bubble Wrap

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about

Our first full length studio record.

credits

released 01 September 2010

Jace McLain: vocals, keyboards, piano, guitars, bass, accordion
Kyle Thorne: vocals, guitars, bass
Brendan Sheairs: guitars, bass
Eric Zhu: drums, guitars, bass
Steve Goodie: drums

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Track Name: Burning Ambitions
I need a
Match right now
I’m the biggest flamer that you know
I’m a bad boy
And I was
Never sad when Santa gave me coal
Come see things
From my view
And maybe I can lighten up your life

I love to see things in a fiery state
Just give me a torch and I won’t hesitate
I put the sin in incinerate

I’m starting to see that the world looks better in flames, whoa
Start spilling some gas, grab a torch and prepare to take aim, whoa
When things go bad, the flames ignite
I’ve never had a problem twice

You may find
Where I live
The whole city has no trees in sight
Hey hippies,
Don’t freak out
I recycle ash, so it’s alright
My love for
Flame boils
I even kinda want to go to hell

I think even Nero might look up to me
And I don’t need a computer to burn a CD
Billy Joel didn’t start the fire… that was me

I’m starting to see that the world looks better in flames, oh
Start spilling some gas, grab a torch and prepare to take aim, oh
A fresh lit match makes me so glad
Tell Johnny Cash I said “my bad”

When I told mom that the house burning down wasn’t me, she called me a liar
Unfortunately she’d figured me out… my pants were on fire
I’m starting to see that the world looks better in flames, oh
Start spilling some gas, grab a torch and prepare to take aim, oh
Track Name: Inyourendo
You need good oral skills for innuendos to succeed
If it’s firm and rounded it’ll come quickly indeed
If you stay abreast, oh you will have such fun
It comes together well like a weenie to the bun
Before you know it they will start spewing from your mouth
And from that point on the conversation will go south
So experiment a bit and then you will be on a roll
You gotta cover all the bases and fill up all the holes

Innuendo, Innuendo
Don’t be a stiff and you’ll comprehendo
Innuendo, Innuendo
You will grasp it in the end-o

Innuendo’s best when no one knows it’s gonna come
When it penetrates the ears it might be shocking to some
Think about it long and hard, so it’s easier to swallow
Avoid limp phrases so that anyone can follow
By now I hope that you have fully mounted the idea
And rest assured your skills are gonna grow over the years
Try not to use it too much, don’t overdo the joke
They’re not as funny when they’re getting shoved right down your throat

Innuendo, Innuendo
Don’t be a stiff and you’ll comprehendo
Innuendo, Innuendo
You will grasp it in the end-o

That joke sucks, that joke blows
Experiment a bit until you find the right joke
That joke sucks, that joke blows
There are many mass debates on a good innuendo

Innuendo, Innuendo
Don’t be a stiff and you’ll comprehendo
Innuendo, Innuendo
You will grasp it in the end-o
Track Name: Food Belongs in Me
You’re out to eat with your girlfriend, you’re upset
A small salad and a water’s all she gets
Then she says she’s fat and pukes in the bathroom
I’m on the road on a typical weekday night
I’m hittin all of the buffets in town that you like
But she’ll never let you go there like I do

She wears short skirts, I break T-shirts
She’s on a diet and I’m in the freezer
Scarfin’ down a cake, hoping one day you’ll find that what you’re looking for
Has been me the whole time

If you could see that I’m the one who wants to date you
Promise that I’d clean up all my plate, you see
Food belongs in me, food belongs in me…

She’s on the street wearing belts with skinny jeans
While my pants are all bursting at the seams
When I see a school bus I think to myself, “hey is that a twinkie? ”
And while I admit I’m not smart as you may like
I can’t do math because it makes me think of pi
But I can tell you that your girlfriend’s so wrong
She doesn’t even save her grocery coupons

She eats rice cakes, I eat Jell-O
She’s your cupcake but I’ll be your ho-ho
Hope you’re not creeped out, but those love notes you found with chocolate fingerprints
Were from me the whole time

If you could see that I’m the one who wants to date you
Promise that I’d clean up all my plate, you see
Food belongs in me

At prom I can’t wear dresses with a price tag
Hope you’re fine with me wearing a tent bag, see
Food belongs in me, food belongs in me…

Oh, I can see us drive home from waffle house in the middle of the night
And I can’t get through the door, you can help me grease my sides
You’ve got a pretty face, won’t you come in for a while
I’ll replace the pizza place with your number on speed dial

Can’t you see that I wish I was in the picture
Though my footsteps show up on the Richter, see
Food belongs in me…

We could share the whole entire menu
Till our scales both say “to be continued”
See, food belongs in me, food belongs in me…
Food belongs in me
It’s apparent that just maybe food belongs in me
Food belongs in me.
Track Name: Raichu a Song
Smoking Weedle and I’m feeling Gloom
And I’m Koffing and Weezing and I don’t know what to do
Then my hopes Bellossom as she passes by
She reminds me of the Starmie sky

Gimmie a Chansey though I seem a bit Farfetch’d
I Heracross my heart that I’m better than the rest
All my life I think I’ve been Seaking Mew
Once I looked around the corner and I had a Pikachu

Though I’m kinda Oddish, she’s Exeggcute
Zubatter believe that she’s awfully Tentacool
Before I met her, I was just an Unown
But now I’m actually doing the Cubone

Gimmie a Chansey though I seem a bit Farfetch’d
I Heracross my heart that I’m better than the rest
All my life I think I’ve been Seaking Mew
Once I looked around the corner and I had a Pikachu

You shine like an Omastar plus you’re really smart
Let’s move to Paras and it will be Magikarp
We’ll Seel the deal and it’ll be just you and I
And I’ll take you out to dinner every Dragonite

But now I can’t deScyther the signs you’re giving me
You’re Horseaing around and there’s a secret up your sleeve
These thoughts are Onixpected and maybe we should part
Our life might be Houndoomed and it’s Machopping up my heart
Don’t Jynx it, it’s alright… and that is what I felt
But then when I discovered it I Togepi’d myself

Your Gastly secret made me feel Poliwrathed
You’re Mankeying with other Geodudes behind my back
She only Vulpix’d me for my money all along
And then in a Rapidash she was Porygon

Now I’m on the street smoking Weedle day again
And I’m feeling Krabby cause it feels like it’s the end
I can’t even think without getting all Machoke’d
When it comes to love I’m just a dopey dumb Slowpoke

Gimmie a Chansey though I seem a bit Farfetch’d
I Heracross my heart that I’m better than the rest
All my life I think I’ve been Seaking Mew
Once I looked around the corner and I had a Pikachu
Track Name: Captain Abduction
Have you ever wanted to disappear?
And climb aboard a giant spaceship flying ‘round through outer space
Just imagine waking up inside a chamber
With a smile on your face (smile on your face)

Captain Abduction, please take me back (please take me back)
Please take me back
When I see your ship, please let me in (please let me in)
Then you can begin, I’ll be good so you can do your thing
So long it’s been…

Take me, it has been my dream
To get abducted by a bunch of men in green and
Hook me up to that machine
Come and abduct me, come abduct me again

It feels like yesterday that they took me away
And though I couldn’t walk for days…I felt A-OK
I wish they didn’t let me off to be ignored
I’d rather get back on the ship and enter through the backdoor

Captain Abduction, please take me back (please take me back)
Please take me back
When I see your ship, please let me in (please let me in)
Then you can begin, no complaints, but I might say one thing:
Do it again!

Take me, it has been my dream
To get abducted by a bunch of men in green and
Hook me up to that machine
Come and abduct me, come abduct me again

Ba-ba-ba it’s been my dream
Now, now it’s happening
My butt butt butt butt butt’s hangin’ out
Ba-ba-ba it’s been my dream
Now, now it’s happening
My butt butt butt butt butt’s hangin’ out

As they hook me up I’ve got a big grin on my face
Their tools start shaking a bit and then…WHOO!

Take me, it has been my dream
To get abducted by a bunch of men in green and
Hook me up to that machine
Come and abduct me, come abduct me again

Have you ever gotten probed in the rear?
Track Name: Birdfucker
You spend your days bird watching
While petting your sap sucker
And pelican debauching
And goosing some poor clucker
The early bird will get the worm
If worm is just a cute sea term
You're using to describe your sperm, birdfucker

Now when you buy a chicken
You don't want to pluck her
No, you'd rather stick your dick in
You filthy rubber ducker
And in your wettest dream you let
An ostrich and an emu peck your neck and double team you, birdfucker

You fuck birds.
There are no words
Except birdfucker

You'd get fowl with an owl
You'd make sweet love to a turtle dove
You want to screw and cockatoo
You'd plug your hole with an oriole
The common loon is your favorite poon
You'd love a swan to cum upon
You'd bury your meat in a parakeet
You'd fuck an eagle if it weren't illegal
There is no quail you wouldn't nail
There is no stork you wouldn't pork
You'd spill your sauce on an albatross
Let loose your juice on mother goose

Oh yes, you're throbbin' for a robin so good
Misbehavin' with a raven and woodpecker peckin' your wood
And the swallow swallows your birdseed
That's what you need to skeet skeet to the tweet tweet
And you're fuckin' a falcon
And you're cocked in a hawk
And you wanna make 'em all go SQUAWK!

Cause you're a birdfucker
You fuck birds.
Track Name: I Never Go to Work
Oh no, no I never go to work
Oh no, no I never go to work
Oh no, no I never go to work
Oh no, no I never go to work

On Mondays, I never go to work
On Tuesdays, I stay at home
On Wednesdays, I never feel inclined
Work is the last thing on my mind
On Thursdays, it's a holiday
And Fridays, I detest
Oh it's much too late on a Saturday
And Sunday is the day of rest

Oh yes, yes practice guitar everyday
Oh yes, yes practice guitar everyday
Oh yes, yes practice guitar everyday
Oh yes, yes practice guitar everyday

Practice Monday
Practice Tuesday
Practice Wednesday
Practice Thursday
And Friday
And I practiced all night on Saturday
So on Sundays I play best

Oh no, no I never go to work
Oh no, no I never go to work
Oh no, no I never go to work
Oh no, no I never go to work

On Mondays, I never go to work
On Tuesdays, I stay at home
On Wednesdays, I never feel inclined
Work is the last thing on my mind
On Thursdays, it's a holiday
And Fridays, I detest
Oh it's much too late on a Saturday
And Sunday is the day of rest
Is the day of rest!
Track Name: Sharktopus
Deep under the ocean lives some kind of creature
Just under our sailboat, waiting to strike
And darling, you said that true love’s on the inside
Well, soon you might see those insides outside

Run from the ocean to the seashore
Run from the seashore to the city
Run from the city, but it’s no use
Run till the sharktopus makes you into seafood
Think you can hide, well, it’ll find you
Think that you’re safe, well, it’ll watch you
Girl, I don’t think I can defend you
When we become the next ones on the menu

My feelings are sinking, just like our surroundings
My heart’s not just yours now, but hey I tried
The monster emerges, waves pounding our sailboat
Well, guess this looks like the last wave, goodbye

Run from the ocean to the seashore
Run from the seashore to the city
Run from the city, but it’s no use
Run till the sharktopus makes you into seafood
Think you can hide, well, it’ll find you
Think that you’re safe, well, it’ll watch you
Girl, I don’t think I can defend you
When we become the next ones on the menu

Run from the ocean to the seashore
Run from the seashore to the city
Run from the city, but it’s no use
Run till the sharktopus makes you into seafood
Think you can hide and I will hold you
Think that you’re safe and I’ll console you
Girl, I will always be there with you
Cause we’ve become the next ones on the menu
Track Name: Avada Kedavra
Wormtail: Draco, at times like this, we Death Eaters say you must “Get Lord Voldemort’s behind.”

Voldemort: No. No. No.

Wormtail: Sorry my lord...

Voldemort: Amateur. It's “Get behind Lord Voldemort.” Draco, a bad thing needs to happen, and it’s up to you.

Draco: That’s not what they teach us at Hogwarts.

Voldemort: Then maybe you need a new lesson! Avada Kedavra! What a wonderful curse.

Wormtail: Avada Kedavra! They don’t get any worse.

Voldemort: It means no Harry, better call him a hearse…

Wormtail: Okay… he’s a hearse!

Voldemort and Wormtail: Ha! It’s our trouble-free, artillery…

Voldemort: Avada Kedavra!

Draco: Avada Kedavra?

Wormtail: Yeah. It's our favorite hex!

Draco: What's a hex?

Voldemort: Geez kid, what the hex wrong with you? Ha ha ha!

Wormtail: Ha ha ha! Good one, my lord. Draco, those two words will solve all your problems.

Voldemort: That's right. Take Wormtail here… Why, when he was a young Hogwarts (student)...

Wormtail: When I was a young Hogwarts (student).

Voldemort: Very nice.

Wormtail: Heh heh, thank you.

Voldemort: He found his persona lacked a certain appeal, he was teased and abused, till he squirmed and he squealed...

Wormtail: I'm a sensitive soul, and I was so chagrined, that they put me in Gryffindor, and not Slytherin, and oh, the shame!

Voldemort: He was ashamed!

Wormtail: Such a lame nickname!

Voldemort: Yeah, Wormtail’s pretty lame.

Wormtail: And I wanted to quit...

Voldemort: How did ya feel?

Wormtail: Well, I felt like…

Voldemort: Hey! Wormy! Not in front of the kids!

Wormtail: Oh. Sorry.

Voldemort and Wormtail: Avada Kedavra! So nicely depraved! Avada Kedavra!

Voldemort: Even though you don’t shave (yet).

Draco: It means no Harry, he’ll go straight to the grave.

Voldemort: Yeah, sing it kid!

Voldemort and Draco: It's our recipe...

Wormtail: For anarchy...

All: Avada Kedavra!

Voldemort: Welcome to the dark side.

Draco: You’re all killers?

Voldemort: We kill whoever we want.

Wormtail: Yup! Turn 'em into rump roasts!

Draco: That’s beautiful!

Wormtail: That Order of the Phoenix makes me so mad!

Draco: I’m so angry I could kill a house-elf.

Voldemort: Heh… we don’t need a house-elf killed… yet.

Draco: An owl?

Voldemort: Nuh-uh.

Draco: Harry Potter?!

Voldemort: No, he’s mine! Listen, if you’re going be a Death Eater, you have to act like a Death Eater. And there’s one fella that REALLY needs to… go away.

Draco: Oooh, who’s that?

Voldemort: A certain headmaster… who did you think?

Draco: Ohhhh…. Wow…

Voldemort: Oh yeah… I hope you’re not chicken.

Wormtail: Unforgivable, yet satisfying!

Voldemort: This is a rare opportunity.

Wormtail: Mmm hmmm.

Voldemort: Mmmm… he’ll die with a very pleasant crunch.

Wormtail: You’ll learn to love it!

Voldemort: I’m tellin’ you kid, this is the great life. No rules, no accountability… Oooh! The little muggle kind. And best of all… we’re all pureblood!

Wormtail: Ahem…

Voldemort: That is, except me. Well, kid?

Draco: Oh well…

Wormtail: Hey! Don’t point that at me!

Draco: Avada Kedavra!

Wormtail: Aaagh!

Draco: Unforgivable, yet satisfying.


Voldemort: That’s it!

Draco and Voldemort: Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra! Avada --

Draco: It means no Wormy, and Dumbledore’s in his grave.

All: Love to hear them scream, in that flash of green...

Voldemort: Avada Kedavra!

Voldemort and Wormtail: Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra!

Draco: Avada Kedavra! Ooo ooo ooo…

Voldemort: Avada Kedavra! Ha ha ha ha!

Draco: Ah... ooo ooo…

Voldemort: That’s right… it’s the circle of death…

Draco: Avada Kedavra!

Voldemort: Be prepared… can you feel the death tonight?

Wormtail: My hand hurts…

Draco: Avada Kedavra!
Voldemort: I just can’t wait to be king! King… King Voldemort… that’s, that’s me… King Voldemort!
Track Name: Know Your Power Chords
Got no creativity
No creativity
We don't know anymore than just three notes

Got no creativity
No creativity
If you thought that we did, the answer's nope

Got no creativity
No creativity
We just can't seem to think cause we're on dope

This song has like three words in it
Cause I'm illiterate
But make a billion dollars in this band

And so I'll just repeat this line
And then I'll make it rhyme
Our fans have really sort attention spans

We could have wrote a different part
But let's not think too hard
We gotta put this riff into its place

And even though we're middle aged
I still dress punk on stage
The makeup helps to hide my ugly face

Add some backing vocals here
To make it sound bigger
And also this guitar riff is a loop

We wrote this song out of thin air
But we don't even care
We're only in this for the chicks and booze

Now we'll just invert the chords
It keeps us from getting bored
Now the solo's simply more of what you heard before

This part is all dramatic like
It's time to bring down all the lights
And then scream something in the mic
While wearing this red sissy tie
And now I'll scream cause I'm so badass

And now it is just solo me
Yeah just guitar and me
Because I am so awesome at guitar

Got no creativity
No creativity
We don't know anymore than just three notes

Got no creativity
No creativity
We just can't seem to think cause we're on dope

It is hard remembering
Where we could end this thing
Our drummer says he's lost and doesn't know

Got no creativity
No creativity
This song should have been over long ago
Track Name: Lesbian
When I was younger, I had my wishes
I dreamed of being something else each day
Wished I was a superhero or an astronaut in space
My life continued, and as it happened
I watched it from the sidelines and
I looked back and realized how I wish it had began

If I was a lesbian my life would be great
I would be a lot less shy when asking girls out on dates
And I’d be the cutest girl, as I’m sure you’re aware
And I’d be the only girl I know to wear boys’ underwear
And if I was a lesbian buy pretty clothes
And I’d be all cool and edgy and I’d pierce my nose
And I’d have a lot of fun comparing boobs with my friends
And I wouldn’t be afraid of getting pregnant again

As I grew older and went to high school
I was your average teenage boy
Wearing makup and skinny jeans was the stuff that I enjoyed
And then it hit me one fateful weekend
I tried to lez out with my friends one day
Then I knew that my path in life was not completely straight

If I was a lesbian my life would be grand
Cause I’d go around in public holding my girlfriend’s hand
And I’d read a bunch of anime and vampire books
And I could finally buy pantyhose and not get crazy looks
And if I was a lesbian I’d dance in my bra
And I’d make out with another girl in front of grandma
And I’d finally ask girls out without getting turned away
Cause it seems like every girl I like always turns out gay
Track Name: Holes in the Fort
I'll tell you a story about a man with a plan in the city of Amsterdam
I can read your face just like a book, let's take a look, learn how to cook
Feast on the eyes of a new day, careful of the spray, you know what they say
Grab that towel on the ground, shove it round, don't let it be found

Take this plastic fork, put it in your eye
Put this puppy dog in the catapult and watch him fly
Listen to the trees scream their songs of peace and nuts
Doorknob in the face when you bring the final cut

Never been like a big guy, throw it down old school, you know what they say
Grab the soda pop in the machine, make sure it's clean while you look away
Holes in the fort, holes in the fort, whoa
Holes in the fort, holes in the fort, whoa

Take this plastic fork, put it in your eye
Put this puppy dog in the catapult and watch him fly
Listen to the trees scream their songs of peace and nuts
Doorknob in the face when you bring the final cut
Track Name: Words Like Arsenic (Thyne Eyes Befell the Celestial Carnival)
Laughing clown ventures forth in a hot air balloon
Spreads his magic fairy dust all around the room
Little good girls and little good boys set their eyes to the sky
Wanna see just how high the crazy clown can fly

I see the world through your golden eyes
The lizards who taught me to read
My love’s like a library card, it’s all the same to me
I make an attempt trying to see the trend
But I can’t get to the end
It’s just the pain that time won’t mend
Like poisonous ink from a pen

Flame weekends in the pale moonlight
The clown’s journey ends tonight
Somberly yet sweetly he puts out his pilot light
Lands softly in the water, his ambition grows dry
Little good girls and little good boys begin to cry

I see the world through your golden eyes
The lizards who taught me to read
My love’s like a library card, it’s all the same to me
I make an attempt trying to see the trend
But I can’t get to the end
It’s just the pain that time won’t mend
Like poisonous ink from a pen
Track Name: Draining the Lizard on a Dead Gay Wizard
Dumbledore died a pretty long while ago
But his followers mourn to this day
A tragic event, we wish that he didn’t go
Then we later found out that he was gay
Well I was dicking around outside the castle grounds
And I found the beloved man’s grave
So to pay my respects I set some flowers out
And I water them in my own special way

I’m draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard
There’s a slight chance of rain for our headmaster today
I’m leaking the Schwartz upon the master of Hogwarts
And I’m pissing on Dumbledore’s grave

Dumbledore’s memory will be in our dreams
Well, we always knew that he was Number One
And though I’m washing those memories away in a stream
There are many good things that he’s done
If your day was a drought he’d always help you out
With a golden shine from within
He would come to your side at each catastro-pee
So you’re safe from the danger urine

I’m draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard
The chamber of secrets sprung a small leak today
I’m making an ocean with a magical potion
And I’m pissing on Dumbledore’s grave

This act I’m committing seems so perfect and fitting
And it feels so good to pour these feelings out
As he sits and decays I’m feeling pretty okay
Besides a shower’s one thing he’s gone too long without

From the land of the free to France where they say “oui, oui”
They say I’m doing something awful and wrong
But though a great flood of pee-ple might be pissed off at me
At least they’re not getting pissed on

I’m draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard
I’m speaking in Parseltongue to whip out the snake
I’m whizzing the wand to make a magical pond
And I’m pissing on Dumbledore’s grave

I’m draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard
I can hear Rowling bawling but I still won’t behave
I’m baptizing the phoenix using my full petrenis
And I’m pissing on Dumbledore’s grave

Everybody!
I’m draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard
It’s the first wand unleashed on him since his dying day
Though I’m merely a Muggle, I can summon a puddle

And incase you were pee-occupied and didn’t hear me…
I’m pissing on Dumbledore’s grave
Track Name: In Space No One Can Hear You Scream
The first mistake I made was not filling up with gas
And then I screwed myself when I had a few drinks and crashed
And now I’m in a loop of free fall through abyss
Now I won’t be going home and I’m really really pissed
Never been this far away from home
Now I can’t see anyone at all
I told myself I’d be found but I guess I lied
The timer’s ticking down but what’s left of me is stuck on this ride

Now I’m lost in space and my engine has collapsed
Communication’s down and I can’t check Google Maps
I checked my phone but here, I don’t have any bars
The only place I’m going is over the stars

Never been this far away from home
Now I can’t see anyone at all
And the stars so vast surround me yet I’m all alone

Never been this far away from home
Now I can’t see anyone at all
But for now I’m here, waiting for the day that I cease to breathe
Then I’ll be swallowed up and get my own constellation named after me